It’s the first day of my gaming groups new Necromunda campaign, and my gang’s not painted. However, unlike previous campaigns I’m not sat home in a fug of misery, I’m down at Warhammer World playing with a borrowed Bounty Hunter and nattering away to my pals.

Grendl about to make a new friend

It’s all part of my self care. Previously my anxiety kept me from completing models, it was like a monkey on my back whispering in my ear that I couldn’t relax and do hobby because there was something super important I needed to do first.

It was the same with reading a book or watching a movie, a nagging sense of dread that I had to do something urgently. I usually ended up doing housework, so while my hobby suffered the flat looked spotless.

Behold! The alphabetised paint drawer!

As a result I usually ended up not attending games night, as I felt ashamed that I was playing with unpainted miniatures. I felt like I was insulting my fellow players by putting single colour playing pieces in front of their beautifully painted miniatures.

So I would stay in, and clean the flat, because I had to do something important before I could do something fun.

Oddly, I don’t care one whit if my opponent has unpainted models. They are busy people with busy lives, they will get them done eventually.

With medication and therapy I’m working through these issues and actually leaving the house to go to social things. My anxiety still troubles me from time to time but at least I’m getting out the house and seeing folk again.